weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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