I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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