you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
