Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
