4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
