someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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