is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
