Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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