Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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