So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
