i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
