I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
