You're my little dorito
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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