i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
