We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
