That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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