I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
