Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
