Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
