Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
