i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
