There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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