went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
