she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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