yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
