that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
