You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
