My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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