So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
