Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
