Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
