BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
