Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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