i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
