There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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