yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
