Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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