I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Holy shit dude........stairs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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