His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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