when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
