come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
