I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
