She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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