Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
