i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize