he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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