He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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