He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
be right there i have to get my cape
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
