So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
