How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
