why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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