I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Found your dick twin last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
