Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
