I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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