I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
