i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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