Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
50% drunk capacity currently
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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