At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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