her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
