Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
