who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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