I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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