my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
