I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
