We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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