this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
